Fic: Lessons in Frustration - Part 3

[jyl22075]

Normally I don't bother with disclaimers, because I figure most people get fan fiction, but since this is RP: I don't know JD or CVZ, I've never met them or spoken to them. This has never happened and will never happen and it's written solely for fun.

John had said the words, but as he watched the confusion play across her face, he was starting to regret it. That certainly hadn't been the declaration of love he had in mind.

 

Caitlin's eyebrows knit together. “Jealous?”

 

“Well, I uh...”

 

“I mean, I didn't realize you were still so upset about the break-up. John, you know you are going to find somebody else. She wasn't right for you...” It took John a full minute to realize she was talking about his ex. The ex he had broken up with because he didn't think it was fair to stay with her when he was in love with Caitlin.

 

“I didn't mean...” He started.

 

“Maybe Bonnie and I can find someone to set you up with...” Caitlin tapped her index finger against her chin, obviously warming up to that plan.

 

“No, really, Caitlin... you don't need to do that...” John cut in, hoping she didn't get too excited about setting him up with someone else. How could he tell her the truth now? She wanted to fix him up with someone. “I hate blind dates, you know that.”

 

“True. What if we did something casual though? Bonnie knows this girl that lives in her building and she's really sweet...”

 

“No blind dates!” He said again a bit more firmly.

 

Caitlin sighed in frustration. “I just want you to be happy.” She sat down on the couch next to him. Her eyes were so sincere that it took everything he had not to kiss her. More than anything he wanted to tell her that he would be happy if he could just be with her, but he couldn't say the words. Instead he put his good arm around her, pulling her close to him. She relaxed in to him immediately. John had gotten accustomed to the ease they had with each other, he was afraid to do anything to mess with the bond they shared.

 

They sat quietly for a few moments. John's good hand was playing with some of the hair that had fallen out of Caitlin's hair clip. She glanced up at him. “You are still going with us to the Emmy party, right?”

 

He grinned. “You think a broken hand is going to keep me from a party.”

 

Caitlin looked up at him with a teasing roll of her eyes. “What was I thinking?” She started to pull away from him but he tightened his arm around her.

 

“Where are you going?”

 

“I need to get home, it's getting late.” She glanced at the watch on her wrist. “Are you going to be okay by yourself?”

 

All he could think was that he didn't want her to leave. “Do you think you could stay... watch a movie with me or something?” He tried not to notice his hopeful tone when he asked her that question. Caitlin's eyes studied him for a moment.

“Sure.” She said with a smile. She got up and grabbed a blanket off the back of his couch, snuggling up next to him and throwing the blanket over them both. “So, did you get HBO?” John tried to hold in his laugh at that question. Caitlin had hung out at his old apartment constantly so she could watch his movie channels. He had asked her repeatedly why she didn't just get them at her place, but she adamantly refused to pay extra for them.

 

“Yes.” He replied, unable to stop the grin from spreading across his face. “You should just spring for HBO at your place...” This was an argument they had had so many times it felt like putting on a perfectly warn pair of shoes.

 

“I have told you a thousand times, I am not paying extra for movie channels. It's stupid... and anyway, there is never anything worth watching on them.”

 

John had become accustomed to her answer, but he always asked her anyway. He flipped through the movie channels and stopped immediately when he saw that Top Gun was on.

 

Caitlin let out a groan. “Top Gun, again?” They had watched Top Gun together more than once because it was one movie they always agreed on. John had started to think of it as their movie. He just laughed at her question and settled in to watch it, savoring the feel of her snuggled up against him.

 

He loved that Caitlin felt so comfortable with him, but a part of him wished that she felt some of the tension he felt whenever she was this close to him. His whole body reacted to her nearness and when she laid her head against his shoulder he felt his heart rate speed up a bit.

 

John glanced down to see if he could find evidence that being close to him had the same effect on her, but when he saw her face, he realized she had fallen asleep. Caitlin went from zero to sleep in about two seconds flat so it didn't surprise him that she was asleep, but he couldn't help feeling a bit disappointed. John sighed. Maybe he should just keep his feelings to himself, obviously she didn't feel the same way.